I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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