so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize