how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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