Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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