TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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