I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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