That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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