She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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