got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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