Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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