Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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