The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
her vagine was all disorganized.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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