Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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