R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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