I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize