so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
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I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
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Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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