so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize