Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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