I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
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Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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