I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize