I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize