Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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