Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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