i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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