Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize