im holly from the hills drunk
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
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Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
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I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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