does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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