I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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