one word: firstdatebathroomanal
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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