You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
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if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
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I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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