does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize