apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Boobs speak an international language.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize