I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize