i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize