Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
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I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
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Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You are a genius and a whore.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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