I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
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YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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