she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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