i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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