I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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