What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize