Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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