I'm going to jail i love you
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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