I puked a lego.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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