hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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