remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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