He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You were trust falling into bushes
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize