i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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