if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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