guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize