i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
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I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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